Monday, November 11, 2013

The Universe

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”  
― William Shakespeare

Well, I always know I can blame myself for anything that happens or doesn't happen. But last Thursday, I found out she was going out of the country for a week. And I will blame the Universe for it. Ha! I know I had a plan to do it last Wednesday and then I didn't, then pushed it to Friday. But she went down to our floor on Thursday and by then I still didn't know she was going on a vacation. I didn't go near her, I can't find an excuse to do so, aside from the fact that I do want to be near her. But I was looking at her from afar and I felt really, really tormented. "I don't think it would work" was all that I could think.

I know I wished for this feeling because it's really been a long time since I've been smitten. But I realized why it don't like it very much when I used to feel it before. But, yeah Universe, I blame you for it.

Before, I could push it out of my mind and just focus on something else, but now, I can't really focus on anything. It's on my mind constantly, and it feels like it's trying to get out, destroying my insides in the process. I've been trying to keep it in and I've been successful before. But now I just can't. Maybe it's true, solitude has broken me by its yearning. And I just owe it to myself to try.

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