Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Guys' Rules

Men don't understand women, and women don't understand men, but at least men don't suffer the delusion that they think they do.
~Orson Scott Card

Pasensya na kung matagal ang update. Hmmm… tinatamaan na naman ako ng katamaran… gagawa ako mamaya, pero bago yun, eto muna.

Nakita ko itong nakapost sa locker ni Dothz sa opisina. Tapos pinost ni Chikinyx sa MapĂșaOwnage forum. Malamang nakita nyo na ito sa email, pero dahil ako parang first time ko lang nabasa ito, I assume na may mga hindi pa nakakabasa nito. At tutal, marami naman sa mga naliligaw dito ay babae, baka makatulong… hahaha.

Di ako ang gumawa nito, pero kung sinuman siya… kudos sa kanya . Mukhang maraming lalaki ang sang-ayon dito…lalo na yung may mga girlfriend. Hehe.

Ano kaya masasabi ng mga babae dito?

The Guys Rules

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note…these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret Girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

11 comments:

  1. woo.. cooL topic, kind of informative..hehe.. sa aking lang din..hehe.. mabuhay ka ninong! hekhek

    ReplyDelete
  2. parang nabasa ko na yan.
    actually matagal na akong may kopya niyan.
    haha.
    napansin ko lang
    bakit lahat number 1 nagsisimula?
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. e kasi raw top priority lahat... hehe...

    ReplyDelete
  4. NATAWA AKO.. nyahahaha! i can see that on my boyps' face.. wenk wenk.. at eto ung panalo: ung sa headaches.. nyahaha.. lagi akong nagrereklamo about headaches pag nagiinarte..wahahaha!bakit nga ba?

    ReplyDelete
  5. HAHA! LOLz!

    nabasa ko na to before, sa friendster, sa email at kung san san pa. anyway.. nakakatuwa.. parang nakikita ko mismo ung itsura ng lalaki habang sinasabi niya un. LOLzZ!!

    anyway.. nakakatuwa ung last nu? camping. yeah! MABUHAY

    ReplyDelete
  6. yo! very familiar but cool post!

    you forgot to list:

    1. If it's smelly, it will be smelly.
    1. If it's a damn shit, it's fucked up!

    ReplyDelete
  7. i like the last part. funny :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. waaaah! men... pang-inis talaga.. hehe.. truly, can't live with them, but can't live without them either. ayayayay! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. wahahaha! ninong nakaktuwa talaga mga post mo nyahaha! nkakaloko! ganun ba talaga magisip lahat ng mga lalake?? hm... npaisip tuloy ako hekhek pero dito ako natawa "1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that." wahahaha! nakakaloka! napalumpasay ako sa sahig wahahaha!!!! joke! lang ninong peace tayu! hihihi ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  10. nice post! :P funny and interesting! i find most of it very true.haha! ala ako macomment.most of the things that was written was just exactly how my guy acts towards me.hahaha!

    thanks about this..di ko pa nababasa to eh. take care!

    ReplyDelete
  11. hahaha, astig!! \m/ you rock ninong!!

    un lang tinamaan ako sa post huh >_< hay... mga lalake talaga. pero may tanong ako about this one:

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,Or golf.

    bakit sabi nila, dapat ready ka daw pag may ball game, kasi baka mapalaban ka? hmmmmm

    ReplyDelete