The Gift of Silence

Sometimes i feel like i'm all alone
Wondering of what have i done wrong.
Maybe i'm just missing you all along
When will you be coming home
Back to me?

There were times i felt like giving up.
Haunted by memories i can't give up.
Wish that i never let you go and slip away,
Had enough reasons for you to stay.

Can you feel me,
See me falling away.
Did you hear me,
I'm calling out your name.
'cause i'm barely hanging on
Baby, you need to come home
Back to me.

Sleepless nights,
'cause you're not here by my side
Cold as ice,
I feel deep down inside.
Maybe i'm just missing you all along
When will you be coming home
-Back To Me by Cueshe

Caveat: I apologize for this post already. Her birthdays always make me feel…cheesy. Or maybe desperate. Whatever. This post is once again in English. I have never been out of the edge yet.

Happy 20^th Birthday to you.

We are getting old, you and I. And for a long time, I have been doing this nonsense over and over again. Some people never learn. Or maybe some people just don’t want to. I don’t know why I’m still doing this but I guess some things are done for no other reason except that you feel like doing them.

It has been eight years since I first saw you. Eight years since I first saw your face. Although I have known you for quite some time, I admit I do not really know you that well. You are a puzzle whose pieces keep showing up and disappearing altogether that I find it hard to figure you out. But still, I try.

We have not been able to talk to each other in person that long. In reality, all the time we’ve talked in person could be shorter than the span of one whole day.

I regret the 10 months that I’ve had you as my classmate. And I regret the one whole year that followed when I exhibited how foolish I am after you’ve left. I should have talked to you more and got to know you better instead of acting like some spy and trying to get information about you without arousing attention. I should have replied to those darn letters. I should have…

I should have made everyone KNOW that I liked you, more than anyone else in my entire existence yet. I should have made the whole world know, if I could. Maybe that would have changed everything. I would have been another person entirely. I should have taken every opportunity to carve myself some place right there in your heart.

I know that nothing I can do can change the pattern my life has already woven. And nothing I know can bring you back to me. ‘Coz I never did have you before. And I may never will.

If you could just do me a little bit of a favor and get out of my entire life without making me feel incomplete, I would appreciate it very much.

And ill never bother you again. I’ll give you my gift of silence in return.