“When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.”
— Andrea Gibson
It's been a while, I know. The urge to post to this blog has subsided during the past weeks. Maybe it's because I'm uninspired. I'm not sure. Not to mention the fact that I'm also busier than ever, since after reorganization, the team I now belong to has the most active projects than the one before. So, I never run out of things to do at the office. No time for quiet contemplation. I haven't even caught up to the list of things I have to do. Sometimes, during my shift, I'm so exhausted I wished the day has ended already because I don't want to think about work anymore.
But maybe being busy is a solace in itself, for I don't have to think about how lonely I really feel. Those walks and lunches alone do not help, but with my schedule and routine and also being a loner.
I think I'm beginning to accept the reality that maybe there is really no one for me. The eventuality of being alone for the rest of my life seems unavoidable with the trend of things. I know it's early to assume such things, but after everything, I just can't imagine it anymore. Maybe I'm saying this so that the irony gods will make me eat my words, which I'll gladly do, if they do decide to prove me wrong.
— Andrea Gibson
It's been a while, I know. The urge to post to this blog has subsided during the past weeks. Maybe it's because I'm uninspired. I'm not sure. Not to mention the fact that I'm also busier than ever, since after reorganization, the team I now belong to has the most active projects than the one before. So, I never run out of things to do at the office. No time for quiet contemplation. I haven't even caught up to the list of things I have to do. Sometimes, during my shift, I'm so exhausted I wished the day has ended already because I don't want to think about work anymore.
But maybe being busy is a solace in itself, for I don't have to think about how lonely I really feel. Those walks and lunches alone do not help, but with my schedule and routine and also being a loner.
I think I'm beginning to accept the reality that maybe there is really no one for me. The eventuality of being alone for the rest of my life seems unavoidable with the trend of things. I know it's early to assume such things, but after everything, I just can't imagine it anymore. Maybe I'm saying this so that the irony gods will make me eat my words, which I'll gladly do, if they do decide to prove me wrong.
